Here on the Prairies

Word of the Day - Lie

2012-01-07T19:42:00.000-06:00

Nobody's cry baby..

2012-01-07T17:44:00.000-06:00

I saw it and just couldn't resist.

Nobody warns you how shitty pregnancy is. Sure you expect the nausea and the morning sickness. But I guarantee that nothing prepares you for the rest of the agony that comes with it.
Tits so sore that I haven't taken my bra off in weeks. I've been tempted to shower in the damned thing on several occasions. Nipples raw and peeling. Just call me lizard nips.
Pee that smells alarmingly strange. I simply can't flush the toilet fast enough to keep the stank away. Oh and I wake up two times a night to pee. I've read that during your second trimester that it goes away but so far I wake up every single night and trek downstairs to the washroom at least twice a night. All I want to do is enjoy these last 6 months of quiet non-baby nights but nooooo-ooooo, I've got to pee. Adding to my night time misery is not being able to get comfortable now that I can no longer sleep on my tummy. Toss in a little insomnia and I'm miserable from dusk till dawn.
One of the girls at work had the nerve to say to me "Oh I loved being pregnant". I just wanted to punch her in the f*cking face. Smug b!tch. I would rather eat glass once a day for 9 months than be pregnant. It's horrible. Thank god it ends with child birth?
Did I mention that I am incredibly irritable? Because I am. I nearly threatened to punch an old man in the face when he was rude to me in line at Zellers. I haven't been this gnarly and aggressive since I was a misguided teenager. Which brings me to my bacne. Acne on my back. Marvelous. The other day Barry played connect the dots between my spots.

boo-f*cking-hoo.

Bassinet

2012-01-07T17:27:00.000-06:00

Bought my first major baby purchase today. A bassinet w/ rocker stand. It'll be nice to have baby sleeping in our room the first few months without having to sleep in our bed with us. I'm starting to get a lil' baby crazy as each day passes.
While I was standing in line at Babies R Us we started talking ultrasound and learning the gender of your baby. Suddenly all the other moms in line started joining the conversation. I've just been initiated into the Mommy Club. Very strange. Strangers asking how far along you are and how your morning sickness is. Very strange indeed.
My ultrasound is February 15th and I'm hoping they'll tell me the babies gender but they might not. If they don't the back up plan is to pay for an ultrasound at BabyMoon and learn the gender there. I'm dying to learn the gender. February seems so far away.

Knocked up...

2012-01-04T20:30:00.000-06:00

Big changes are happening. I've just entered my second trimester of pregnancy. It appears as though the hubs and I had a wee bit too much fun whilst in Scotland. We brought a baby back with us.

At my last doctors appointment I heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time and shit got real yo. Since then I've received a few baby gifts and have even started to purchase things for the nursery on my own. Today I bought this piggy art poster by Michael Sowa.

So beware blog readers, those of you who are still around. This blog is about to become my venting place for all things pregnancy. From my sore and peeling nipples, my funny smelling pee, and the loss of my perfect vagina. Get ready for it.

Quotable Hitchens

2011-12-16T11:51:00.000-06:00

"[Mother Teresa] was not a friend of the poor. She was a friend of poverty. She said that suffering was a gift from God. She spent her life opposing the only known cure for poverty, which is the empowerment of women and the emancipation of them from a livestock version of compulsory reproduction."

"Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are God. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realise that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods."

"The four most over-rated things in life are champagne, lobster, anal sex and picnics."

Via: BBCNews

R.I.P. Hitchens

2011-12-16T06:23:00.000-06:00

after a long battle with cancer he died. His writing and public speaking is the reason why I was able to let go of my religious conditioning.

sh!t girls say

2011-12-14T19:22:00.001-06:00

and then there were two.

2011-12-09T18:43:00.002-06:00

Hidden Treasures

2011-12-08T19:19:00.000-06:00

USA vs CANADA

2011-12-08T06:05:00.000-06:00

Ice candle

2011-12-06T18:06:00.000-06:00

First one of the year. The weather has been very cold this last week. Perfect for making ice candles.

Hrm?

2011-12-04T08:52:00.001-06:00

I've abandoned my blog. There's no reason for it really. Blogging is something I quite enjoy so why I stopped is a mystery. Perhaps the acquisition of a blackberry playbook will lure me back to blogland?

... surrounded

2011-11-04T06:33:00.002-05:00

Evil twin - Aisle 6

2011-10-23T10:58:00.006-05:00

Via: Buzzfeed

Honey I'm home.

2011-10-23T08:40:00.000-05:00

Via: Buzzfeed

Underneath my make-up....

2011-10-22T08:42:00.000-05:00

PIRATE spotted in Wee Cumbrae.

2011-10-22T08:30:00.000-05:00

I found a Scottish pirate! He was barefoot and standing over his boat with his wee dog! I'm kinda upset that I didn't have the balls to go ask him if I could have my picture with him and his boat. He was probably the most fascinating local I have ever seen. Y'AAAAAAAAAAAAAR!

Hardcore...

2011-10-04T15:10:00.002-05:00

I'm on my way to Glasgow. Only a hardcore mother f*cker stitches thru turbulence.
Skull w/ wings via: Sublime Stitching

Monday...

2011-09-26T06:23:00.000-05:00

Link: BLUNTCARD.COM

Bzzz

2011-08-28T12:16:00.001-05:00

Gobble Gobble

2011-08-27T22:01:00.000-05:00

These turkeys amuse me to no end. They follow me around when I'm in the pen. Roost?

Whatever.

It just seems a shame these cool dudes will be slaughtered soon. Life and death on the farm.

So close ...

2011-08-12T06:59:00.001-05:00

I am 10 pounds away from a healthy BMI. When I started just over a year ago I was obese.
Only 22 pounds from goal.
*happy dance*

Daily commute

2011-08-03T07:03:00.001-05:00

Ricky Gervais. OH EM GEE

2011-07-27T20:23:00.001-05:00

AHH WOOOO GAHHHHH

Images by Nadav Kandar
Link: Rolling Stone

Monarda

2011-07-26T07:54:00.000-05:00

Bloomin'

2011-07-25T19:42:00.000-05:00

Brown Eyed Susans growing thru the Irises.

Dotted Meadow Blazingstar

Double Purple Coneflower

I like it..

2011-07-25T06:27:00.000-05:00

Image: WFP

Bzzzzz

2011-07-24T19:37:00.002-05:00

R.I.P. Amy Winehouse

2011-07-24T08:30:00.000-05:00

I am totally gutted. I always held out hope that she would overcome her demons and release a third album. She was far too fragile for public scrutiny but perhaps that's why her music is so soulful.

She has remained at the top of my playlist since 2006. The last time I karaoke'd I sang Rehab. Absolutely adore her and I'm so sad that she's gone.

RIP Amy Winehouse

Duck People

2011-07-18T08:00:00.000-05:00

Bunting.

2011-07-09T11:27:00.000-05:00

I'm on a 9 week deadline to sew several feet of bunting. Probably 300 individual flags need to be cut, stitched, ironed and then put onto binding. Oi vey.

Quiet around here...

2011-07-05T06:29:00.000-05:00

Irises

2011-06-21T08:56:00.000-05:00

*sigh* all my irises are happily blooming away. I have four different varieties and love 'em all.

Oh sh!t I forget...

2011-06-20T21:02:00.000-05:00

I habitually plant things and then completely forget what they are. No idea what this is but I planted it last year ?

Manitoba marathon 2011

2011-06-20T15:30:00.003-05:00

I volunteered at the Manitoba Marathon this year. Was handing out water and offering words of encouragement to all the runners at mile 16. "MILE 16 BOOYAH" was my expression of the morning. It seemed to get a smile out of most runners. I was the last person in the water line so once they passed me they still had 10 miles left ahead of them. Very inspiring to see them surging forward.

This was supposed to be my first half marathon but thanks to my groin injury I was sidelined. Its been really hard not to be depressed and lose focus on my weight loss and fitness goals as I struggle to get thru this injury. It's been almost 3 months and I'm still not running. I run with a limp and my stride is unrecognizable. I miss the power of endurance running.

What's growing on ?

2011-06-20T06:23:00.001-05:00

The veg garden is looking good. Everything is sprouting and so far the bunny has been kind and has stuck to eating my perennials. We've been eating asparagus for the last month. It's exciting to watch it come up knowing that it'll be on your plate soon. Asparagus in zone 2 WIN!

The view from here

2011-06-15T20:07:00.001-05:00

Nap time for bunny

2011-06-15T07:29:00.006-05:00

Above: Shhh sleeping bunny as seen thru the patio door.

Below: He's watching my cauliflower grow. Waiting for his dinner *le sigh*

I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him...

2011-06-14T19:25:00.002-05:00

.. and name him George.

This guy is super cute. There's loads of bunnies in our neighborhood. The other day while mowing the lawn I watched two bunnies run back and forth across the manicured lawns for what seemed like an eternity.

Sure he's cute now... wait till he starts mowing down my corn seedlings.

Irises

2011-06-14T07:01:00.001-05:00

Walking past these beauties every morning is a treat

2011-06-13T06:33:00.000-05:00

Irises are in full bloom.

I can't count how many times I've chased him outta my veggie patch.

Bird stitchin'

2011-06-12T13:21:00.001-05:00

Lily of the valley

2011-06-11T18:09:00.000-05:00

Bipolar

2011-06-09T06:36:00.000-05:00

Link: Bluntcard

11 months = 72 lbs

2011-06-08T06:34:00.002-05:00

11 months ago I started counting calories and introducing daily exercise.
I have lost 72 lbs. Slow & steady does indeed win the race.

Tipi building.

2011-06-05T11:47:00.000-05:00

We helped build our first tipi yesterday. Took 3 hours from start to finish and the results are spectacular. I really didn't take enough pictures of the finished product.

Word of the day - Transferable

2011-06-02T11:34:00.000-05:00

Link: My First Dictionary

First flower

2011-06-02T07:01:00.001-05:00

I planted this red columbine last year. It just put out its first flower.

Baby Bullet Nightmares

2011-05-31T20:43:00.001-05:00

This is what my nightmares look like after someone asks me "when you gonna have babies?"

Via: Buzzfeed

Thank you for being a friend

2011-05-31T09:19:00.001-05:00

Eat me

2011-05-31T07:14:00.000-05:00

Chives

Strawberries

What's growing on ?

2011-05-30T09:45:00.000-05:00

The irises are tall enough to hide the gnome

Euphorbia in zone 2 = WIN

Lilies are looking great this year. These are pink.

Peony

2011-05-30T06:59:00.000-05:00

Prepping for planting

2011-05-29T19:44:00.000-05:00

Above: Sh!t got weedy around here.

Below: Weeded herb & veggie garden. Tilled and ready for planting next weekend.

Scooby - an unlikely inspiration for a pudgey girl

2011-05-29T11:07:00.002-05:00

Scooby is my newly appointed Guru. He's hilarious and his heart is in the right place. He's not selling or pushing anything other than clean healthy living.
Link: Scooby's Workshop

It's been 7 weeks since my groin injury and I'm just slowly starting to resume heavy training. Just prior to the injury I had upped my strength training with a Chiseled class/Mondays and a Bootcamp/Wednesdays. After the injury I had to stop the high intensity workouts and rethink EVERYTHING that I was doing. It really set me back.

I'm just getting to the point where I'm reintroducing some of the more intense parts of my training. The instructor at the gym has dealt with his own groin injuries in the past and has been really supportive about me re entering the classes. Soooo I'm going to try this again. Three hard days of strength training a week.

Today I found my first glimmer of hope. A slightly bulging tricep muscle on my right arm.

I love you tiny muscle.

Work out partner?

2011-05-28T17:18:00.002-05:00

Scooby is awesome. He really knows his stuff and his attitude towards over all health is amazing. Oh AND he's a vegetarian :)

Link: ScoobysWorkshop.com

Cube pets

2011-05-27T07:28:00.000-05:00

Mother in law

2011-05-26T06:12:00.000-05:00

Link: Bluntcard (I totally worship this site)

Awwwww

2011-05-25T06:31:00.000-05:00

Meet the sloths from Lucy Cooke on Vimeo.

Via: Buzzfeed

Optimist

2011-05-23T19:36:00.002-05:00

Optimist from Brian Thomson on Vimeo.

Via: Neatorama

Woody

2011-05-21T20:40:00.000-05:00

Solomon's Seal

2011-05-20T13:23:00.003-05:00

I love love love Solomon's Seal. Definitely one of my favorite plants on the yard. It's hardy in zone 2!

When this bad boy produces rows and rows of tiny white bells its beyond gorgeous...

See: May 16 2010

71 lbs lost

2011-05-20T06:32:00.001-05:00

The end is near. I cannot believe how close to my goal I am. When I first set a 100 lbs lost goal I thought the end would never come. Its been almost 11 months and 12 pant sizes later here I am 29 lbs from goal. (UPDATE: make that 14 pant sizes)

I've worked so f*cking hard to get here and even though the goal seemed impossible at the beginning I know that I'll be there soon.

71 lbs lost.

29 lbs left to go

A year ago today ...

2011-05-19T20:22:00.000-05:00

Above: May 19/2010

What a difference a year makes. Unbelievable.

Below: May 19/2011

Bike commuting in Winnipeg

2011-05-19T07:09:00.001-05:00

The new bike corridor is brilliant. I cycle 10k five days a week.

Accelerant

2011-05-18T18:31:00.001-05:00

Link: Bluntcard

I am awesome

2011-05-18T06:25:00.001-05:00

Above: The view when you walk thru the back gate. The Mohawk garden is finally something to be proud of. From a very badly neglected spot to a well established garden that's constantly in bloom.

Below: Can't wait for these peonies to bloom. The ants tell me that it's happening soon.

Below: Mohawk Garden, April 24th 2009

Bloomin'

2011-05-17T06:30:00.000-05:00

Above: Euphorbia just coming into bloom in the Mohawk garden
Below: Blooming tulips on the East side.

First Asparagus

2011-05-17T06:23:00.000-05:00

We've been eating fresh asparagus for about a week now. We've collected 6 spears and they are delicious!! Farm fresh egg omelette's with fresh asparagus and chives from the garden. What could possibly beat that?

This is the first year that we've been able to harvest our asparagus and we've both agreed that planting it was a major WIN.

Herbie the gnome

2011-05-15T18:55:00.001-05:00

* le sigh *

2011-05-11T08:46:00.000-05:00

Link: Stuff no one told me (but I learned anyways)

Play with me dammit!

2011-05-10T18:02:00.000-05:00

Via: High Definite

Tori ... eats last years petunias

2011-05-09T13:09:00.002-05:00

Hanging with my gnomie

2011-05-09T07:11:00.010-05:00

My gnome stands guard over what promises to be an excellent lily crop.

Lazy day in the garden

2011-05-08T21:12:00.001-05:00

First blooms

2011-05-08T19:04:00.000-05:00

Above: My first open tulip. On the east side of the house

Below: What a happy surprise. A lone viola that I started from seed last year.

... I wear fur

2011-05-07T09:39:00.001-05:00

Embroidered Potholes?

2011-04-28T22:03:00.000-05:00

By Juliana Santacruz Herrera.
Via: Buzzfeed

You know what sucks?

2011-04-28T07:51:00.001-05:00

.... Losing an entire nail of Ziggy Stardust glitter nail polish somewhere between home and work.

Hop it!

2011-04-24T10:21:00.002-05:00

I love Simon's cat!

Via: Buzzfeed

Tori ... hangs out next to the patio door

2011-04-23T21:30:00.002-05:00

The patio door is wide open. I guess she prefers her soft bed and a soothing breeze rather than the hussle and bustle of patio life.

jesus

2011-04-22T18:52:00.002-05:00

Via: Buzzfeed

What I'm Listening to..

2011-04-22T11:35:00.002-05:00

I'm recently obsessed with Phantogram.

The view from here

2011-04-21T11:45:00.002-05:00

The not-so-invisible shrinking woman... me

2011-04-18T21:43:00.001-05:00

Click for LARGER

I'm still a long way from my goal. 35 lbs to be exact. After 65 lbs my body has changed so drastically. My waist line is visible. My tits are round. My skin is clear. My face has shape. My ass is defined. I look like an actual woman rather than just a pile of fatty goo. My confidence is growing as my body is shrinking.

But I've noticed something very abnormal. Men look at me.

When I walk thru a room sometimes I find myself making eye contact with strange men because they're actually looking at me. 65 lbs ago I was invisible. No one looked at me. Even though I was HUGE and took up so much space, no one noticed me. I was the invisible woman.

My husband and I had a conversation about it the other day. He's noticed guys checking me out and it bothers him. He's threatened by my new clothes and my new body. He's nothing but supportive and loving and has all the trust in the world BUT since we were being honest about our changing sizes he spilled the beans- Fat Julie was way better than thin Julie (because she was invisible).

Of course he doesn't want me to be fat, but he's not used to other people seeing me like he does - the most beautiful girl in the world regardless of size.

Neither am I. I feel vulnerable and threatened. Don't look at me. I want to be invisible. It's a strange internal battle that I'm having with myself. Do I sabotage myself and remain invisible or do I continue onwards and become the person that I really am?

Today I walked thru a McDonald's restaurant with no makeup and wearing a pair of sweat pants and caught someone totally staring at my tits before he made eye contact with me and smiled - all in a split second. A quick exchange that most people never notice. Something that used to happen to me regularly but as I grew fatter stopped happening.

My husband has lost 80 lbs and is at his goal weight - mid range healthy BMI. I am 35 lbs from meeting him there. I am scared about how to cope with my new body and the attention it attracts.

It's f*cking weird and I don't know how to properly verbalize it. Of course I'll deal with it. Of course I'll lose the last 35 lbs. But I don't quite understand what's happening to me. How does one feel when they look down and realize that 65 lbs is missing? I'm shrinking into a real person. One that doesn't eat her feelings. What happens to all those feelings that I'm not eating? Where do they go?

That's what I struggle with the most. (and no one ever talks about it).

Image Via: Annie Sprinkle

First butterfly

2011-04-14T06:37:00.002-05:00

(or is it a moth?) He was cruising around our yard for hours the other day.

Captured

2011-04-12T21:27:00.003-05:00

Via: The High Definite

Taking stock

2011-04-12T13:16:00.002-05:00

One of the brilliant things about being a new homeowner is planting things! Here there and everywhere. Each year I plant a little more. This is my 4th spring in the house and I've finally gotten to the point where I can start dividing plants and moving them to new spots.

Above: The northern shade garden at the front of the house, which has been the most challenging due to the SHADE, is finally looking decent. Looks like the Woody Thyme & Coral Bells added last year are coming back. I lost two ferns because I planted them directly under the siding. When it rained the rain dripped off the siding directly onto the newly planted ferns and by the end of the year they were dead. But even this early in the spring I can see how well my other new plants wintered.

Below: My refurbished bed on the west side of the house is teeming with tulips which were the only pre-existing plants (along with a lone hosta) in this entire bed when we moved into the house. I planted a bunch of new things last year. Black hollyhocks, day lilies, sedum & purple coneflower. They all show signs of life. The peony, delphinium & solomon's seal I planted the year before are green with new growth too.

Geez, I'm becoming a seasoned gardener. Can't wait to start new projects this year. Moving a little of this and a little of that from here to there and everywhere.

10.84 km

2011-04-11T19:14:00.000-05:00

I did it! I broke the 10 km barrier that I've been trying to break thru for a few weeks. I managed to run 10.84km in 90 minutes. I had the hubby drop me off at the furthest corner of Assiniboine Park and told him that no matter what, under no circumstances was he to rescue me.

.. and I ran. I ran with all the seasoned hardcore runners up Wellington Crescent. I felt like a superhero. I still do. Even though I pulled a groin muscle on my left side. I'm limping around like a gimp. Missed a day of work and everything.

BUT WHO CARES!? I ran almost 11 km! Half marathon prepare to be conquered.

I listened to the new Beth Ditto on repeat for the last 3 km. Riiight around the time I felt my groin muscle pop. Ditto got me thru

The view from here

2011-04-11T16:35:00.001-05:00

I started more plants today.

My deck is full of plastic containers. Hollyhocks, morning glory, foxgloves, zinnia, cathedral bells & prairie coneflowers.

Can't wait for the ground to dry up so I can get to work.

Kiddy Punk

2011-04-10T14:44:00.000-05:00

Via: Buzzfeed

More atrium flowers

2011-04-08T21:32:00.000-05:00

Seriously, the flowers in the atrium at work are spectacular.

High productivity

2011-04-08T21:23:00.000-05:00

Link: YourMotherLikesIt

Tulips at the gym

2011-04-06T16:27:00.001-05:00

They put out pretty pink ones over the weekend.

Fitness freak

2011-04-04T21:26:00.000-05:00

I'm slowly becoming a fitness freak. My gym days consist of Monday night 'bootcamp' and Wednesday night 'chiseled'. I have a weekly outdoor running goal of 21 km per week at a 8 min pace. Hoping to turn that pace into a 7 min pace but really its the endurance I'm working on.

June 19th I'm running the Manitoba Half Marathon. I am totally and completely horrified that I'm going to do it but f*ck it. I'm a running fool!

Sometimes I get a fright. I look down at myself and realize that theres 62 pounds of me missing. I've just vanished. It makes me feel insecure for a variety of new reasons that I'd never considered before. Its an interesting internal struggle that I'm sure will give way to the skinny b!tch that's clawing her way out of me.

Its been exactly 9 months. I'm down 62 lbs. 38 to go.

The view from here

2011-04-04T17:22:00.002-05:00

... the river as seen from the bus.

Fresh off the hoop

2011-04-03T11:54:00.001-05:00

A birthday gift for a Harley enthusiast. 4 hours stitch time. There's something I find incredibly appealing about hand stitched logos. Taking a structured image and adding the flaws that hand stitching creates.

Tori .... is sick

2011-03-31T20:35:00.000-05:00

Came home to a mountain of puke and she's been resting on the couch all night not quite looking like herself. Will give it 24 hours and call the vet if necessary. Poor Tori, she's 15 and my baby.

The view from here

2011-03-29T21:09:00.001-05:00

Tonight was the first time this year that the solar lights were on. It must be spring.

Where is my mind?

2011-03-29T14:19:00.000-05:00

Super epic cover of Where is my mind.

Via: Buzzfeed